Getting Over Heartbreak...

Today's post is going to be a little more chatty...

As you can see from the title, the topic is going to be about being heartbroken and how and when you can get over it. 

This is a topic that's really close to a lot of people's hearts, including mine. As a 19 year old young woman who has dealt with this herself and has had many friends who've been through this too, I hope this post gives you the confidence and support that you or a friend may need in order to get by.

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Heartbreak can come in many different forms. Whether it be going through a tough breakup after your partner ending a relationship or you being the person that has ended the relationship yourself- both include aspects of heartbreak (circumstances considered).

If you're the person who has been on the receiving end of the breakup, you'll probably go through various stages. Remember that everyone's stages happen in different orders and from personal experience and conversations with friends, here are some of the stages that you may find yourself experiencing:

1. Anger- Detesting your ex-partner and everything that happened in the run up to the breakup and the ending itself. Where you feel complete frustration and anger, picking out everything that you could possibly be annoyed about towards the breakup and the person themselves.

2. Denial- Not believing that the breakup has taken place, telling yourself that everything will be 'back to normal' in a couple of days. These 'couple of days' can quite easily turn into a 'couple of weeks' or even months in your mind. You want to believe that things will get better and even be sorted out soon.

3. Confidence- Wanting to get your self-confidence back by listing things that are great about yourself. Feeling motivated to excel in things that you're good at and try new things. This stage helps hugely when getting a happy, positive mindset back and starting to accept what happened. 

4. Sadness- Feeling complete heartbreak. You feel like curling up in a ball and staying inside. Having a fear of going out and talking to people as you think they'll ask tons of questions. Also, crying. A lot of tears.

5. Loneliness- To feel like you can't talk to anyone about the situation because no one understands. Wanting to lock yourself away and stay in your bedroom because not having that one person makes you feel like everyone else has disappeared too.

6. Excitement- Feeling excited for a new chapter in your life. Positive thoughts start to open your eyes to what your life could be like in the near future. There are new opportunities, chances and a beautiful lifestyle ahead of you.

7. Self-Hate- Listing everything that you can think of that you might've done to cause the breakup. Thinking that it's your own fault that it happened. Wanting to change aspects of yourself in order to please someone else.

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    These stages can happen at any time during a heartbreak in any order and remember that everyone is completely different as the circumstances differ from person to person.     Also, it can sometimes feel like nothing is going to get better. I can assure you it does. Timing is different for everyone too and just like learning something new, it can take some people more time than others, from weeks to months to even years.    What matters most is that you eventually turn all of those negatives like anger, sadness and loneliness into the positives such as confidence and excitement.

In order to find happiness in days of upset, try and use the negatives to fuel your positives. If you're angry and frustrated, take that anger and frustration. Use it to better yourself- to feel more confident and worthy so that next time you encounter that person, you feel like a better and more stable you.

    You're so much more than you believe yourself to be so use those feelings to realise that. 

Take up a new hobby, use positive distractions. Emerge yourself into something that you enjoy- whether that be going out and taking photographs, writing a story or spending time with your family or friends. Try your best to use your time wisely. But don't forget that you'll need time to yourself as well. Find that perfect balance that works for you.

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As mentioned earlier, being a part of the 21st century is great. Technology is amazing and it enables us to do incredible things. However, when it comes to a breakup, this technology can seem like the worst thing possible. As difficult and impossible this may seem to some of you reading, blocking that person from everything in your life is the best possible way to deal with heartbreak.  

     It can seem like the social media link is the only thing left and this is why it's so hard to cut that rope. However, it'll give you so much more freedom. It'll stop you from knowing what they're doing and how they're coping with the split too. Being part of a generation where checking Facebook and Twitter every hour is the norm, this can prove impossible- it's not.

Please believe in yourself no matter how unhappy you feel on your down days. Look towards your future and remember... everything bad in your life is temporary. 

From someone who has dealt with a breakup and thought there was nothing but pure darkness ahead, I'm letting you know that after a whole year of wondering, waiting and wishing... I finally found a light at the end of my tunnel.

"Remember that you were art long before they came to admire you and you'll continue to be art after they've gone" - Unknown